Not so subtle rhymer
by meva desa
Summary: Late Christmas fic. One-shot. Cameron's glasses are gone and in there place is a note. Wonder who it's from?


Cameron woke up feeling very tired, but seeing as she had only slept for four hours last night that was to be expected. Being a doctor didn't do much good for one's sleep cycle. She got up, dressed and then went to find her glasses. Every night they were left in the kitchen on the coffee table by the magazines but today when she got there she found that they were missing. She was confused - she always left them there - but eventually she had to go to work and so she decided to look for them later.

When she arrived at the hospital she went past Cuddy's office on her way to the locker room and as she was walking by she saw House, Taub, Kutner and Thirteen arguing with Cuddy. House was smirking while Taub and Kutner argued and Thirteen lent against the wall looking bored. As she walked past Cameron couldn't help wondering why House had chosen these particular people to be his new team. It was Cameron's opinion that they were nothing like House's previous team, but she'd never spoken with them long enough to find out. In the end she decided to forget about them and continued to the lockers.

Walking through the door and around the beige coloured wall toward her pink locker she noticed that there was a piece of paper stuck to it. She unfolded the note and gasped in surprise. Inside there was a printed picture of her glasses on the coffee table and under the photo was a note:

'Bring a bucket of red and white paint to the lecture hall,

Careful on the stairs, wouldn't want you to fall,

Be there tomorrow night at eight,

Time is of the essence, you really shouldn't be late'

Cameron stared at the note for a few more seconds, gasping in disbelief. Someone had kidnapped her glasses and was holding them ransom. This was crazy beyond words. Only one person is insane enough to do something like this and that same person also has a key to her apartment so, mystery solved, Cameron figured she should just do as House wants and save herself a lot of trouble. The sooner he gets whatever it is he's after, the sooner he'd leave her alone. Putting up a fight would be useless. House always gets what he wants. With that Cameron went to the E.R.

Cameron hated dealing with the Christmas rush of patients and after sewing a few fingers back on followed by a huge car wreck on 53rd street in which a truck crashed into a bus effectivly holding up traffic for 2 hours, she decided to buy the paint on the way home.

The next night a little bit after eight Cameron walked through the doors of the lecture hall where a Christmas tree stood on a large brown stage, heavily decorated with tons of things including tinsel, candy canes, coloured balls and a big bright star on top whose glow illuminated the desk in the centre of the stage. Cameron looked around and saw another photo of her glasses along with House's cane sitting on the desk. That confused her. She was certain House had been behind this. Cameron decided to read the new note below the photo. It said:

'Glad you made it here tonight,

Now it's time to help me right

The wrongs this man does everyday,

This humiliation will make him pay,

You're a smart girl, you know what to do

But if you need help just look round the room '

Cameron put down the note and smirked. Yeah, she knew what to do.

At the back of the hall shrouded in shadows, a nameless figure smiled.

Another note was on Cameron's locker in the morning and this time she didn't hesitate to open it. This one said:

'A camera is optional, but don't forget to smile,

The giant has been slain; he can barely run a mile,

He wakes up at nine so be in the office round eleven,

And when the shock alights his face we will be in heaven,

My thanks to you it must be said,

" " '

Cameron frowned when she noticed the last line was blank but shrugged it off and went to get her camera before making her way up to the third floor diagnostics office. She got into the elevator and was briefly disturbed by the sudden silence the enclosed space provided. Her thoughts went into overdrive and she started to wonder about the consequences for messing with House and the person behind this but as the elevator reached her floor all feelings of unease left her and she went back to focus on the task at hand.

She was walking through the third floor hall when House hobbled past her into the office holding a giant red and white striped cane

"Who the hell did this to my cane!"

They took a look at him and only Kutner couldn't stop himself from laughing at House's new accessory when Taub decided to say,

"Nice....candy cane"

Followed be Thirteen proudly saying

"And now it's time to go to bed."

She got up and walked past a dumb struck House, through the large glass doors towards Cameron. She smirked while ushering the camera-wielding doctor to the elevator doors, the shouts of an obviously furious House fading into the background as they got closer and as the mechanical gateway opened they stepped into the small room where Thirteen pushed the button for the ground level.

Once the doors shut Thirteen hit the emergency stop button and turned to face Cameron.

"I didn't think you could do it" she said.

"I didn't think you could rhyme" replied Cameron.

They stood staring at each other for a while before Thirteen finally resumed their descent and, ever smirking, walked out of the elevator. She was halfway between Cameron and the clinic doors when she turned around,

"Check your pockets!" She shouted before walking out into the December snow fall. When she was gone Cameron searched her pockets, finding her glasses in the process. She took them out while wondering how Thirteen had managed to sneak her glasses back without her noticing or feeling anything. Then she remembered what House had said the previous Christmas... _'expect the unexpected'_. Apparently Thirteen had heard it too.

* * *

I know this is a late Christmas fic but due to circumstances I couldn't get it up in time. I'm not to sure about the way I wrote this so if you review it would be helpful.

Anyways i hope you enjoyed this. =D


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